I am a detailed organizer. My calendar is methodically kept. I usually know what is going on the following day without even looking. I pride myself on this trait. Yesterday, I knew I had a lunch meeting at Bryce’s school. I arrived in a prompt fashion greeting people I knew, checking in at the front desk, and moving into the board room. The room was empty and dark. Then I started to question myself. Was it cancelled? Are they running late? I checked back in at the front desk only to find out I have shown up on the wrong day. Actually, I was late by twenty-four hours.
As I left, feeling somewhat embarrassed and berating myself for being human, I realized that this has happened to me only a couple of times in my adult life. As I overthink and analyze this really trite situation, I realize the issue. The issue was how it would look to other people. You see, I am a person who values true commitment. So, when I fail to honor that, it wrecks havoc with my self-esteem. It also comes down to being mindful.
So, yesterday, I got to laugh at myself. After I worked through my self-esteem issues, I decided that by taking myself too seriously, it doesn’t leave much room for being human. Sometimes I am going to show up on the wrong day or forget to pick up my kid. (I was five minutes late only because I forgot they got out at 2 instead of 3. It was Bryce’s freshman year. He and Bailey will never let me forget it.) The world is still revolving and I am positive this won’t be the last time for me to embrace my humanness.
Square Peg, Round Hole 