There are those moments where you can feel the rut. It’s those times where you feel so rooted that you are stuck. At this point, I might be the poster child for that, but I need to give myself some grace, right? It would be something I would offer anyone else I care about, so why is it hard to indulge myself with that level of empathy?
There is a lot of vulnerability admitting that I am navigating some unchartered territory. Sitting with the uncertainty of whether I want to continue to write or not. That’s my middle-age question. I have adopted the life of a sloth in the last year. I have ignored my own writing to pursue the literary adventures of other talented wordsmiths. Basically, I am in a holding pattern brought on by sheer exhaustion from health issues, grief, family stuff, and self-doubt. The good news is that I am embracing it so that I can come out of it with some clarity.
We recently returned from a cruise in the British Isles where I had a lot of revelations. I have spent an enormous amount of time on people, places and things that don’t serve my purpose. That’s how life works, right? You go through ebbs and flows where life lessons are presented. It is up to me to figure out what is the best course that will be an asset to my life mission. Sounds very profound, but I assure you it is not. Our vacation brought me back to center.
Moving forward, my goal is simple. Don’t allow past experiences that were hurtful or difficult to color future decisions. Don’t allow people to taint my worth. But most of all, honor my truth. For me, that is bringing my writing back to where I started which is blogging. Every Wednesday, I will be posting my blog called “Wednesday Words”. It is more of an accountability pledge on my end, to get back into the habit of daily writing in an effort to rebuild momentum.
The question “what are you waiting for?” has needled me for the last time. It is important to remember that things don’t happen to me, they happen FOR me.
Square Peg, Round Hole 